It's a rare time in my life. For the first... well, 22 years, it had seemed like I wasn't really going anywhere. I mean, the experiences of high school were significant at the time, yet now... maybe the distance of time has rendered them indistinct, but I can't recall anything from that era that really moves me. College was a little different, since it was a bigger change; moving out of the house, socializing, freedom!, and unfortunately, large quantities of debt. While these periods were significant at the time, in the grand scheme of things it seems like they were merely transitional periods. 6 years of elementary to get me to junior high, 3 years of junior high to get me to high school, 4 years of high school to get me to college, then 4 1/2 years of college just to get me a job. Whoop de freaking do, hello academic treadmill.
But now.... at the price of 17.5 years of my life, it feels as if I am finally free. It took me a few months to fully realize the depths of my freedom as I recovered from the senior/finals college stress. I have the freedom of time, no longer do I have to spend so many hours in front of the computer (well, I still do but it's playing video games rather than writing papers). I have the freedom of peace of mind, where I don't have to worry about tests or memorization or projects or crazy professors (replaced by office politics :D). I have the freedom of full-time employment, which is merely the tyranny of work replacing the dictatorship of academia (but at least I get paid now!). I have the freedom of money, where I am making enough that I can repay my debts, satisfy my repressed impulse spending streak (within reason, of course), be generous, buy cars, entertainment systems, books, and/or small tracts of land in Guadalupe.
It's as if all those freedoms combine to somehow form a bigger freedom; like a freedom of life, or something. It's the feeling as if I have been given the key to all my shackles, and I can smell the fresh air and see the sunlight. For the first real time in my life, I have the feeling of true forward movement. It's like I'm going from the 25mph residential/school/construction zone to the German Autobahn. I'm paying off my debts. I'm getting into a band. I'm learning things I want to learn. I'm being social. I'm actually contemplating buy a new car, for crying out loud. It's the feeling of getting things done.
And it's daggone satisfying.
EDIT: I just opened my fortune cookie-
"You need not worry about your future"
All I can say is, duh.
Lucky #s 1, 9, 35, 18, 52, 40
If you win anything with these, I want a cut!
Offended? Intrigued? Contact my manager.
Here begins your journey into the mind of everybody's favorite asian, and I don't mean Jet Li.
What follows is the somewhat inane, mostly irrelevant, and self-important ramblings of a man on the brink of madness.
Welcome... to the Chu.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Moving forward [L]