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    Here begins your journey into the mind of everybody's favorite asian, and I don't mean Jet Li.
What follows is the somewhat inane, mostly irrelevant, and self-important ramblings of a man on the brink of madness.
Welcome... to the Chu.

Friday, December 16, 2005
 Why Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris rule    [L]

In case you haven't seen these yet, you should check them out (coarse language warning):
Top Thirty Vin Diesel Facts
Top Thirty Chuck Norris Facts

Excerpts in the extended section
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

If you look in a mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

I think my fav C. Norris quote yet: Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

By Blogger Joel, at 12/19/2005 10:00:00 AM      

I submitted a few:

The mathematical constant of Pi is based on Chuck Norris - Archimedes noted that Chuck Norris can do 3.14 circular roundhouse kicks per second when he was kicked in the face, stomach, and testicles for daring to approach Chuck Norris.

Keyser Soze believes in God - but the only thing that scares him is Chuck Norris.

By Blogger Chu, at 12/19/2005 10:43:00 AM      

Chu... I sent you these Chuck stats a long time ago... did you ever get them?

By Blogger BiggMikeDee, at 12/19/2005 05:23:00 PM      

i laughed so hard that chuck norse's right cowboy boot came to my room and said "shut it!"...and continued to prophesize that a 7.6 earthquake will shake los angeles when chuck norris delivers a roundhouse kick to the face of vin diesel on april 14, 2009.

By Blogger chad o, at 12/20/2005 12:03:00 AM      

^^^ speak up ^^^