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    Here begins your journey into the mind of everybody's favorite asian, and I don't mean Jet Li.
What follows is the somewhat inane, mostly irrelevant, and self-important ramblings of a man on the brink of madness.
Welcome... to the Chu.

Monday, November 16, 2009
 Hines Ward is my Kryptonite    [L]

This is going to be about fantasy football, so if you're not interested feel free to skip this article. Seriously, it's not even about fantasy football in general, but one of my teams in one of my leagues, so the chances of you being interested are fairly remote. Talking about your fantasy football team is like talking about your dreams: Very few people care.

Then again, if you enjoy a good fantasy football yarn then go right on ahead.

I felt the need to rant, and to share a miraculous discovery with the fantasy football world:

Hines Ward is my bitch.

Let me explain.

In one of my 3 leagues (the most serious and competitive one) I drafted Hines Ward in the 8th round. Being a Bengals fan, I wasn't particularly happy with it, but he was the best WR on the board at the time, and my fandom doesn't run deep enough to where I would cripple my fantasy team (or so I thought).

So, much like when I voted for McCain, I held my nose and drafted Ward.

Week 1 went by without incident, I started Hines Ward vs TEN for 14.4 pts, and that was the right call, as none of my other WRs did better.

But as the weeks went by, I started noticing a disturbing trend:

Week 2
Sat Hines Ward @ CHI for 9.8 pts
Started Brandon Marshall vs CLE for 6.9 pts
Would've lost anyway

Week 3
Sat Hines Ward @ CIN for 11.2 pts
Started Mario Manningham @ TB for 8.2 pts
Would've won anyway

Week 4
Started Hines Ward vs SD for 18.4 pts
Should have started Brandon Marshall vs DAL for 20.2 pts
Would've won anyway

Week 5
Started Hines Ward vs DET for 19.6 pts
Should have started Brandon Marshall vs NE for 24.4 pts
Would've lost anyway

Week 6
Sat Hines Ward vs CLE for 30.4 pts
Started Brandon Marshall @ SD for 8 pts
Would have won the matchup if not for Ward

Week 7
Started Hines Ward vs MIN for 0.8 pts
Should have started DeSean Jackson @ WAS for 33.6 pts
Would have won the matchup if not for Ward (and another choice)

Week 8
Sat Hines Ward on BYE
Made the right call (but duh)

Week 9
Sat Hines Ward @ DEN for 21.6 pts
Started Brandon Marshall vs PIT for 20.8 pts
Would have won the matchup if not for Ward

You got that right:
in only 1 of 8 weeks Hines Ward was playing did I make the right call.

Every time I started him, I sat his superior. Every time I sat him, he wasted away more points on my bench. My decision to start/sit Ward has cost me 3 games, which I desperately needed with my record at 3-5-1.

Which brings us to Week 10.

It was a crucial week for me in fantasy, as I needed a W in order to have a shot at getting into the playoffs - but also in reality, as my beloved Bengals visited the Steelers for control and potential championship of the AFC north.

I knew going into it that whatever decision I made with Ward, it would be the wrong one. Counting on the history we shared, I started him knowing that he would stink it up, but also knowing that I was potentially sacrificing my fantasy season by putting a dud in my lineup.

Hines Ward vs CIN got me 5.2 pts.
Brandon Marshall @ WAS and his 33 pts sat on my bench, wasted.
I lost by 14 pts.

It was worth it.